*hikes up overalls and chews on straw*

[icepixie]

Inspired by shaye's "You Know You're from Oregon" post, as well as the fact that a blue million of these turn up any time you type "Tennessee" into Google.



You Know You're From Tennessee If...

You measure distance in hours.
"How far is it to your school?"
"Eight hours."

You've ever had to switch from "heat" to "A/C" in the same day.

Stores don't have bags; they have sacks.
Well, sort of true. I've called them both in the past.

Stores don't have shopping carts; they have buggies.
See above. "Buggies" is more of a facetious thing, though.

You see a car running in the parking lot at the store with no one in it, no matter what time of year it is.

You use "fix" as a verb. Example: I am fixing to go to the store.

All the festivals across the state are named after a fruit, vegetable, grain, or animal.
They forgot the Tennessee State Fair. Not to mention the RenFaire, TN Arts and Crafts Fair...of course, this could be Yankee-fied Nashville.

You install security lights on your house and garage and leave both unlocked.
Um, no.

You carry jumper cables in your car...for your OWN car.
Seeing as I don't own a car...

You know what "cow tipping" and "snipe hunting" are.
Actually, I had to go up to Kentucky to figure those out. Buncha degenerates up there.

You only own four spices: salt, pepper, ketchup, and Tabasco.
My mother has sixteen spices in her spice rack, and I know at least one use for all of them. And I'm sure most of you know of my un-American dislike of ketchup.

You think everyone from a bigger city has an accent.
Oooh, I'm losing badly here...

You think sexy lingerie is a tee shirt and boxer shorts.
No comment.

The local paper covers national and international news on one page, but requires 6 pages for local gossip and sports.
Well, actually, that might be the case, especially in the fall...

You think that the first day of deer season is a national holiday.

You know which leaves make good toilet paper.
Well, I think anyone can make an educated guess. Hint: Plants with three and seven leaves are a bad idea. Not only do we have poison ivy, but poison oak and sumac hang out here, too.

You find 90 degrees F "a little warm."
I was cold when I was in long pants and sleeves and it was 80 out.

Your school classes were canceled because they were forecasting snow.
Okay, technically it was the year after I graduated high school that they did that, but close enough...

Your school classes were canceled because of heat.
No, we had window air conditioners that apparently piped air in from the Arctic.
 
You've ridden the school bus for an hour each way.
One year, it was an hour and a half each way.

You know what is knee-high by the Fourth of July.
This one is so, so much more applicable to Ohio than to Tennessee. There're more soybeans and tobacco here.

You know all four seasons: Almost Summer, Summer, Still Summer, and Christmas.
So. Freaking. True.

You know whether another Tennessean is from West, Middle, or East Tennessee as soon as they open their mouth.
Damn straight. West and Middle blend a little bit, but I can spot one of us a mile away, and East Tennesseans *glances at rowdycamels* are completely obvious.

There is a Dairy Queen in every town with a population of 1000 or more.

Going to Wal-Mart is a favorite past-time known as "goin wal-martin" or off to "Wally World".
I won't deny that others do it, but I try to avoid it unless I really need something.

You describe the first cool snap (below 70 degrees) as good chili weather.
Sounds good to me...

A carbonated soft drink isn't a soda, cola, or pop ...it's a Coke, regardless of brand or flavor.
Yes.