I LOVE fics that start out this way. I'm a total sucker. Is it ridiculous that I get VERY EXCITED when this is the first sentence of a story?? I have weird fic kinks, I tell you.
2. He does, and she heads for the small kitchen area, quickly setting water to boil, collecting mugs, spooning leaves into the teapot. Susan Ivanova disdains teabags. If you don't have to wash the pot out afterward, she feels, you're doing something wrong.
RUSSIA FOR THE WIN. I really like that all your nods to Russia in here are genuinely, you know, RUSSIAN, and not just "oh haha she's from Russia and it's canon!" You know??? LOVE.
3. An image of Talia flashes across her mind.
You mentioned my girl! \o/
4. "Two friends helping each other de-stress," he finishes for her.
"*Yes*." He understands. Of course he does.
The lack of angst is sharp and perfect and great. Michael is not really a romantic character, and Susan is only romantic when you catch her off-guard.
5. A part of her that wears Talia's face tells her she's not much of a realist.
And AGAIN! This sentence made me stop and squeee and think because it brings up lots of options. :)
6. The cynic in her doesn't believe in love. The pessimist knows that love chipping out a foothold is the first sign that things are about to go really, catastrophically wrong.
Oh, love love love. I love that Susan has no thread of actual optimism in this. Your characters are bang-on, and I like how you didn't have their relationship really actually change all that much. <3
7. and the part of her that still speaks to her heart on occasion notes that--assuming they both survive the war--if this were to continue, or even to flourish, she would not necessarily mind.
OH, PERFECT SETUP.
8. Eleven days later, John Sheridan goes to Z'ha'dum, Michael disappears among the Shadows, and Susan's world goes straight to hell.
\o/ oh, this is GREAT. PERFECT. You slotted this in around the episodes so incredibly WELL. Fa-bu-lous. Everything about this is GREAT, and I love it. I like the casualness, the simpleness, and the CANON ANGSTTTTT that only pops up right at the end.
Hmm. I always long for a pairing who can treat each other really badly. I wonder if these two might be it for me, since they are both so v. broken and she, at least, is the type to take it out on other people?? *ponders*
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timeasmymeasure
no subject
Date: 2009-05-30 06:50 pm (UTC)Let me COUNT THE WAYS:
1. This is how it happens:
I LOVE fics that start out this way. I'm a total sucker. Is it ridiculous that I get VERY EXCITED when this is the first sentence of a story?? I have weird fic kinks, I tell you.
2. He does, and she heads for the small kitchen area, quickly setting water to boil, collecting mugs, spooning leaves into the teapot. Susan Ivanova disdains teabags. If you don't have to wash the pot out afterward, she feels, you're doing something wrong.
RUSSIA FOR THE WIN. I really like that all your nods to Russia in here are genuinely, you know, RUSSIAN, and not just "oh haha she's from Russia and it's canon!" You know??? LOVE.
3. An image of Talia flashes across her mind.
You mentioned my girl! \o/
4. "Two friends helping each other de-stress," he finishes for her.
"*Yes*." He understands. Of course he does.
The lack of angst is sharp and perfect and great. Michael is not really a romantic character, and Susan is only romantic when you catch her off-guard.
5. A part of her that wears Talia's face tells her she's not much of a realist.
And AGAIN! This sentence made me stop and squeee and think because it brings up lots of options. :)
6. The cynic in her doesn't believe in love. The pessimist knows that love chipping out a foothold is the first sign that things are about to go really, catastrophically wrong.
Oh, love love love. I love that Susan has no thread of actual optimism in this. Your characters are bang-on, and I like how you didn't have their relationship really actually change all that much. <3
7. and the part of her that still speaks to her heart on occasion notes that--assuming they both survive the war--if this were to continue, or even to flourish, she would not necessarily mind.
OH, PERFECT SETUP.
8. Eleven days later, John Sheridan goes to Z'ha'dum, Michael disappears among the Shadows, and Susan's world goes straight to hell.
\o/ oh, this is GREAT. PERFECT. You slotted this in around the episodes so incredibly WELL. Fa-bu-lous. Everything about this is GREAT, and I love it. I like the casualness, the simpleness, and the CANON ANGSTTTTT that only pops up right at the end.
Hmm. I always long for a pairing who can treat each other really badly. I wonder if these two might be it for me, since they are both so v. broken and she, at least, is the type to take it out on other people?? *ponders*