icepixie | (Reply)

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That happened to me recently; I gave up on trying to corral them in, and just went for a semi-stream-of-consciousness thing.

Yeah, it is kind of supposed to be a stream-of-consciousness thing (not in the true Modernist sense, but it is basically composed of a character thinking), but it's getting hard to parse the sentences when I re-read. It's not helped by the fact that I seem to be using present and past perfect verb tenses (he has seen, he had seen) way too damn much. The idea is one character going over his mental catalog of information on another character, which requires those verb tenses, but they do clutter things up. Adding a ton of clauses...bleh.

NO YOU LINKED TO TV TROPES.

MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

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icepixie

March 2023

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