Problem: Aircraft handles funny. Solution: Aircraft told to straighten up, fly right and be serious.

Crazy pictures of dogs underwater.

For what started out as legitimate writing research but quickly devolved into time-wasting internet surfing, I was looking up the correct terminology used in radio communication between air traffic towers and airplanes. I wound up at this site full of purportedly true conversations between air traffic controllers and pilots.

My favorite:

A huge C-5 cargo plane was sitting near where a small plane was waiting to take off. The private pilot got a little nervous because the military plane was closer than normal, and asked the tower to find out the intentions of the C-5. Before the tower could reply, a voice came over the radio as the C-5's nose cargo doors opened, saying, "I'm going to eat you."

And here's another, from this site that assumes more technical knowledge and while still amusing is not quite as funny:

Pilots flying heavy iron are sometimes known for their lighthearted jibes at pilots of smaller aircraft.

One day at Toronto's Pearson International Airport, an A-340 was in line for departure behind a Fokker F-28, an aircraft that has a tail that splits to act as a large speedbrake. The Airbus captain was heard on the radio, making some comment about the "cute little plane" in front of him and boasting about the brand new jumbo he was flying.

In response, the Fokker's fuselage speed brakes opened wide, and over the radio a very loud, "Pbbbbbbbt!" was heard.

(Do be warned that some of the quotes and stories at both links are not in the best taste.)

I found from these anecdotes that airline call signs ("United 123, you are cleared for departure," etc.) are not all simply the airline's name. A few of them are in fact quite different. British Airways is "Speedbird," from an old logo, which I find completely charming. There's something wonderfully onomatopoeic about it, kind of sharp and streamlined. Other amusing ones are US Air/the former America West ("Cactus"), Aer Lingus ("Shamrock"), Tiger Airways ("Go Cat"), and Wings of Alaska/SeaPort ("Sasquatch"). Sadly, most of the big American carriers are boring and just use their names or part of their names. I thought for sure Southwest would have something amusing, but no.

Anyway, as I was saying, this started out as legitimate writing research. I've either entirely written or at least have dialogue down for all but one of the most important scenes, which basically means I have a beginning, middle, and end (well, climax; I have yet to figure out how much dénouement I want to include) and now need to go in and fill in the gaps. This is always the least fun part of writing anything longer than a couple thousand words for me, so I'm dragging my heels. But I really want to have a draft of this by the end of the month, so we'll see if I can't manage that. (And then comes editing! Because I've changed about a billion details since I started writing, and now I have to go back and make them all consistent! *facepalm*)

Tonight's Castle

( These spoilers long for Michael Westen to beat some sense into the show they came from. )

Parting thought for the night

Resolved: Shippy adventure tales about space pilots can only be improved by inclusion of references to Edna St. Vincent Millay.

Seriously, though, doesn't part of "Renascence" remind you of a rocket launch? Specifically this part:

But, sure, the sky is big, I said;
Miles and miles above my head;
So here upon my back I’ll lie
And look my fill into the sky.
And so I looked, and, after all,
The sky was not so very tall.
The sky, I said, must somewhere stop,
And—sure enough!—I see the top!
The sky, I thought, is not so grand;
I ’most could touch it with my hand!
And reaching up my hand to try,
I screamed to feel it touch the sky.
I screamed, and—lo!—Infinity
Came down and settled over me;
Forced back my scream into my chest,
Bent back my arm upon my breast...