Phantomized
Dec. 10th, 2004 10:54 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
icepixieHooray for seeing another movie in England that came out here before it did in the US! This is a really, really spoiler-heavy review, so if you'd like to see it without knowing a lot of the details (presumably most people who would be seeing this already know the story), then don't click the LJ-cut.
If there were an Oscar for most unintended hilarity, this one would be working towards a lifetime achievement award. I desperately want to see MST3K take a crack at it. The worst was the Phantom himself--guy can't sing, or at least not well enough to make a convincing "hypnotize the girl with song" kinda character. The minute he opened his mouth, it was like, whoa. I probably should've left the theatre to calm down a bit. He was pretty, and he wasn't a bad actor, but why didn't they get someone to dub his songs like they did with Minnie Driver? I mean, really. The movie would still have been far from perfect, but it would've made it SO. MUCH. BETTER. And even though the actor's from Scotland, he sounded like he was from Alabama. No, not kidding. There was definitely a line including "time" in it where he said "tahm." I think there was also a "haihd," too. Oy.
Raoul, on the other hand...not only was he pretty (very pretty...he was like the Legolas of this movie), he could sing really nicely. I definitely liked him way, way better than in the play. Of course, I was comparing him to this particular phantom, so, y'know... Christine had a nice voice, but her one expression was deer-in-headlights, so she was rather disappointing. "All I Ask of You" was really good, though--they staged it fabulously up on the roof, and the two best singers of the piece sounded fantastic together. Earlier, Christine had a really nice harmony with Meg on some part of "Angel of Music" that I liked a lot as well.
Minnie Driver as Carlotta was surprisingly not horrible. The accent and the black and white poodles were a nice touch. Speaking of black and white, what was with the monochrome Masquerade? Come on. The lyrics mention green and red, if not other colors, so what gives? Also, all the stylized unison movements were just a tiny bit off--hardly enough to notice, but bothersome when one or two out of twenty people waving fans around were a little off-beat. Argh. They could've spent one more day rehearsing this and it would've been perfect. Gah.
Also, during that one? Why on earth did they have Raoul and Christine speak the lines about their engagement that they usually sing? Why did they do this all throughout the movie? Yeah, it sounded really freaking stupid. Y'know, it's pretty music, why not sing to it? ARGH. And they would break into song at the most random of times, on the most random of lines...it was just like, *big highlight song* *speak a few lines* *sing a few random lines interspersed with speaking* *another big highlight song*. Why bother to stop singing? They don't onstage. It completely broke the mood at numerous points all through the first half or so, though mercifully stopped by the second half.
And speaking of singing...so, the first half hour or so, everyone seemed really self-conscious about singing when they weren't actually on the Opera House stage. It was like *speak speak speak* *put head down and sing as quickly and quietly as possible* *speak again* Quite annoying. They seemed to get more into it as the movie went on, or perhaps I just got desensitized to their lack of enthusiasm.
What else...oh, the Phantom actually strangling people in close-up was cool. That made him much creepier, and took him beyond the 30-year-old video-game-addict who lives in his mother's basement that he kind of is. And, y'know, made me like Raoul even more. Like that was difficult. ;) But at the end, when Raoul was half-strangled, had just been tied to the portcullis, and generally was not doing too well, why didn't Christine row the boat back across the lake? Who would you have picked to row the boat in that situation?
Other than that, the last third was vastly better than the exposition-heavy beginning. For one, the Phantom quit trying to actually sing and did a speaking/singing sort of thing that was just so much better. He got to act more instead of concentrating on hitting the notes. The bit where he takes over the role of Don Juan in his opera was fantastic; it was possibly the only point in the movie where he and Christine had any chemistry at all, but it was very apparent there. (Although her dress was so falling off. She had to keep putting the shoulder straps back up. Heh.) Also, the set pieces for that were of hell--real flames coming from the floor and everything. It totally lends credence to my theory that Christine is Faust and the Phantom is the devil. See, this guy at The Guardian believes it, too! The last third also had the wonderful graveyard scene with "Wishing You Were Somehow Here Again" in it, that was shot just beautifully. Although--and this bothered me throughout the film at various points--why have a voice over of the song when Christine is in the carriage and not moving her mouth? Why? Not getting this at all. Raoul and the Phantom having a little swordfight amongst the graves was fun, although that poor horse...why that horse didn't run far, far away, I have no idea. He did run out of the shot when Raoul just leaped off of his back. Heh. But they doubled the length of the violin solo that leads into that scene, so much can be forgiven.
Well, not the lighting, or lack thereof. I like the idea of mood darkness, but it crossed the line into "what's going on? It's too dark to see," and "what's the expression on that person's face look like?" which is never a good line to cross. The visuals in general were amazing--Christine and Raoul in front of the stained glass window was incredible, for example, though why there would be a chapel with stained glass in the middle of the opera house, I have no idea--just often too dark. They didn't have the chandelier fall until almost the veeeeery end, and it set the entire building on fire when it did. It was quite the chandelier-dropping. I'm pretty sure that was the best part of the whole film. Yep. Oh, and the Phantom's line to Christine and Raoul, "Everyone just hates me for my face," and then the close up of seats in the auditorium burning was particularly nice irony. Heh. And his face wasn't even that disfigured; he could've used the wig he was wearing, added some bangs to it, and it would essentially just be a very large scar.
And lastly, I quite enjoyed Madame Giry. I always enjoy Madame Giry, but this one was especially nice.
Oh, and post-lastly...the credits. The credits were fun. The cast list included two "fops," and apparently there was an inflatable crowd provided by The Inflatable Crowd Company. I think I need to rent this sucker on DVD and look for that inflatable crowd while MST3King the whole thing. Hee.
So, yes. For the love of God, don't see this unless you're looking for a comedy or you go to a dollar theatre to ooh and aaah at the visuals. Save up your money and see the stage show.
(Although, Chandra, thank you for finding out the times and getting the phone number and everything. I appreciate the work you did, even if I didn't care much for the movie.)
If there were an Oscar for most unintended hilarity, this one would be working towards a lifetime achievement award. I desperately want to see MST3K take a crack at it. The worst was the Phantom himself--guy can't sing, or at least not well enough to make a convincing "hypnotize the girl with song" kinda character. The minute he opened his mouth, it was like, whoa. I probably should've left the theatre to calm down a bit. He was pretty, and he wasn't a bad actor, but why didn't they get someone to dub his songs like they did with Minnie Driver? I mean, really. The movie would still have been far from perfect, but it would've made it SO. MUCH. BETTER. And even though the actor's from Scotland, he sounded like he was from Alabama. No, not kidding. There was definitely a line including "time" in it where he said "tahm." I think there was also a "haihd," too. Oy.
Raoul, on the other hand...not only was he pretty (very pretty...he was like the Legolas of this movie), he could sing really nicely. I definitely liked him way, way better than in the play. Of course, I was comparing him to this particular phantom, so, y'know... Christine had a nice voice, but her one expression was deer-in-headlights, so she was rather disappointing. "All I Ask of You" was really good, though--they staged it fabulously up on the roof, and the two best singers of the piece sounded fantastic together. Earlier, Christine had a really nice harmony with Meg on some part of "Angel of Music" that I liked a lot as well.
Minnie Driver as Carlotta was surprisingly not horrible. The accent and the black and white poodles were a nice touch. Speaking of black and white, what was with the monochrome Masquerade? Come on. The lyrics mention green and red, if not other colors, so what gives? Also, all the stylized unison movements were just a tiny bit off--hardly enough to notice, but bothersome when one or two out of twenty people waving fans around were a little off-beat. Argh. They could've spent one more day rehearsing this and it would've been perfect. Gah.
Also, during that one? Why on earth did they have Raoul and Christine speak the lines about their engagement that they usually sing? Why did they do this all throughout the movie? Yeah, it sounded really freaking stupid. Y'know, it's pretty music, why not sing to it? ARGH. And they would break into song at the most random of times, on the most random of lines...it was just like, *big highlight song* *speak a few lines* *sing a few random lines interspersed with speaking* *another big highlight song*. Why bother to stop singing? They don't onstage. It completely broke the mood at numerous points all through the first half or so, though mercifully stopped by the second half.
And speaking of singing...so, the first half hour or so, everyone seemed really self-conscious about singing when they weren't actually on the Opera House stage. It was like *speak speak speak* *put head down and sing as quickly and quietly as possible* *speak again* Quite annoying. They seemed to get more into it as the movie went on, or perhaps I just got desensitized to their lack of enthusiasm.
What else...oh, the Phantom actually strangling people in close-up was cool. That made him much creepier, and took him beyond the 30-year-old video-game-addict who lives in his mother's basement that he kind of is. And, y'know, made me like Raoul even more. Like that was difficult. ;) But at the end, when Raoul was half-strangled, had just been tied to the portcullis, and generally was not doing too well, why didn't Christine row the boat back across the lake? Who would you have picked to row the boat in that situation?
Other than that, the last third was vastly better than the exposition-heavy beginning. For one, the Phantom quit trying to actually sing and did a speaking/singing sort of thing that was just so much better. He got to act more instead of concentrating on hitting the notes. The bit where he takes over the role of Don Juan in his opera was fantastic; it was possibly the only point in the movie where he and Christine had any chemistry at all, but it was very apparent there. (Although her dress was so falling off. She had to keep putting the shoulder straps back up. Heh.) Also, the set pieces for that were of hell--real flames coming from the floor and everything. It totally lends credence to my theory that Christine is Faust and the Phantom is the devil. See, this guy at The Guardian believes it, too! The last third also had the wonderful graveyard scene with "Wishing You Were Somehow Here Again" in it, that was shot just beautifully. Although--and this bothered me throughout the film at various points--why have a voice over of the song when Christine is in the carriage and not moving her mouth? Why? Not getting this at all. Raoul and the Phantom having a little swordfight amongst the graves was fun, although that poor horse...why that horse didn't run far, far away, I have no idea. He did run out of the shot when Raoul just leaped off of his back. Heh. But they doubled the length of the violin solo that leads into that scene, so much can be forgiven.
Well, not the lighting, or lack thereof. I like the idea of mood darkness, but it crossed the line into "what's going on? It's too dark to see," and "what's the expression on that person's face look like?" which is never a good line to cross. The visuals in general were amazing--Christine and Raoul in front of the stained glass window was incredible, for example, though why there would be a chapel with stained glass in the middle of the opera house, I have no idea--just often too dark. They didn't have the chandelier fall until almost the veeeeery end, and it set the entire building on fire when it did. It was quite the chandelier-dropping. I'm pretty sure that was the best part of the whole film. Yep. Oh, and the Phantom's line to Christine and Raoul, "Everyone just hates me for my face," and then the close up of seats in the auditorium burning was particularly nice irony. Heh. And his face wasn't even that disfigured; he could've used the wig he was wearing, added some bangs to it, and it would essentially just be a very large scar.
And lastly, I quite enjoyed Madame Giry. I always enjoy Madame Giry, but this one was especially nice.
Oh, and post-lastly...the credits. The credits were fun. The cast list included two "fops," and apparently there was an inflatable crowd provided by The Inflatable Crowd Company. I think I need to rent this sucker on DVD and look for that inflatable crowd while MST3King the whole thing. Hee.
So, yes. For the love of God, don't see this unless you're looking for a comedy or you go to a dollar theatre to ooh and aaah at the visuals. Save up your money and see the stage show.
(Although, Chandra, thank you for finding out the times and getting the phone number and everything. I appreciate the work you did, even if I didn't care much for the movie.)
no subject
Date: 2004-12-11 07:03 am (UTC)Yes, yes. I feel sorta bad about criticizing the guy, because he's said in interviews that he's no singer and that this was his first time in any kind of singy role, but ugh. People have dubbed movies since the dawn of time; surely that could've been done here.
Not sure if you caught it, but during the Final Lair, the line is supposed to be, "So do you end your days with me / Or do you send him to his grave?"
Well, Gerry kinda messed up the pronunciation there...on "So," it actually sounds like "Doe"...there is no "s" anywhere near that word when he sings it. It's brutal.
I didn't catch that one, but it doesn't surprise me. I did notice a "this is the point of no weturn" at some point in there, though. *snerk*