Literature, with excessive use of exclamation points

[icepixie]

Lord, give me patience, and give it to me RIGHT NOW. At least long enough to finish this STUPID book.

At least Pride and Prejudice had the always-amusing Mr. Bennett to help me along. Persuasion has...a Mary Sue. A really DUMB Mary Sue. And a lot of twittering girls, and at least two, possibly three men who are or will soon be related called "Charles," and a REALLY STUPID PLOT. Stupid like the "heroine," Anne, brushes off her boyfriend because he's of a lower social class, and when he comes back eight years later, all rich and suddenly a good, marriageable prospect, and yet has the gall to be interested in Anne's sister-in-law, she gets all whiny about it. But not in an actual whiny way, just a, "Oh! Could he possibly still love me? He looked at me when I was in the room with him for a moment! He must! Except I can't possibly approach him and ASK HIM because I am far too reserved and shy and I know my place in society!" kind of whiny, the kind that's so utterly perfect and self-sacrificing and sweet, to the point of inducing complete dental rot, that you just want to slap her.

I have never hated a character I'm supposed to like as much as I hate Anne. She's so consistently sweet and calm and good and I just want to kill her. Dude, she has to "pause a moment to recover from the emotion" of hearing the ex-boyfriend call her "proper" and "capable." OH MY GOD, HE CALLED ME CAPABLE! BE STILL, MY BEATING HEART!

And all the other characters are so obviously meant to be foils for Anne's innocence and light act, which is irritating in the most Mary Sue-ish of ways. At least Louisa seems to have a little PERSONALITY here and there, but she is ALWAYS compared to Anne, and Anne is of course perfect and wonderful and can do no wrong. Ever. Then Louisa gets knocked out and is laid up in bed for a while, thus taking any semblance of life the book might have had far, far away.

I still have eighty pages of this crap to slog through. Eighty more pages of simpering females, dull-as-dishwater men, little insinuations that Anne is the best thing since sliced bread, and OH MY GOD, I HATE THIS BOOK WITH THE PASSION OF A THOUSAND FIERY, BURNING SUNS.

Comments

[fiara.livejournal.com]

Awww, I'm sorry they make you read Austen. *hugs*

[icepixie]

Thank you. I think hard liquor might improve this novel. Too bad I don't drink.

[laserhead.livejournal.com]

Huh. For a minute there I thought I was reading orangetango's post. My apologies with Austen.

Soooo glad I'm not an english major...

[icepixie]

Damn you, Austen!

Allyson, Sarah and I need to form some kind of Anti-Austen Brigade...

[pellmelody.livejournal.com]

If I remember correctly, Austin used to write some novels to be, well, pissy, and make fun of writing conventions of the times. I don't know the history of this particular novel (as this wasn't one I read). I do know that "Northanger Abbey" was written as a satire at a "craze" for Gothic novels that was occuring in England at the time(though it wasn't published until after Austin's death). I think this one, though, is considered her most serious of all her novels and I don't think it was one she was ever satisfied with.

[icepixie]

Yep to all that. I consider myself able to tell, usually, when Austen is satirizing and when she isn't. In this one she DEFINITELY isn't, and it's really kind of shocking, since it was her last and, theoretically, most refined/sophisticated novel. It reads like some of the Mary Sue drivel on ffnet with better grammar. Bah.

One day, perhaps in twenty years, when I can stand the thought of her again, I plan on finishing Northanger Abbey. Until then, though... *goes after Austen with a machete*

[pellmelody.livejournal.com]

Heh. Perhaps she died before she made all the revisions to the novel she wanted to make? Not really defending the novel, since I've not read it, but I like Austin because she could be so subtly pissy about the society and society's mores.

[nickless.livejournal.com]

Ummm, at least you'll remember it well when comps roll around?

[icepixie]

If I don't block out all memory of it from the trauma, anyway...

[nickless.livejournal.com]

Damn, I forgot about the possibility of repression...

Ha! I made a funny!

Yeah, going to bed now.

[icepixie]

*groan* You broke my brain.

[nickless.livejournal.com]

Sorry!

Worst part? I didn't even realize it until I'd typed it. *g*

Love the icon, btw!

[icepixie]

Worst part? I didn't even realize it until I'd typed it. *g*

Hee.

Love the icon, btw!

Thanks. :)

[rowdycamels.livejournal.com]

BWAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHA!!!

Anne and I can totally take you. And Louisa, too.

You should really read the second Bridget Jones book. It makes Persuasion even more fun.

[icepixie]

Anne can take no one. She would sit in a corner and cry.

[rowdycamels.livejournal.com]

She's secretly a ninja.

[icepixie]

An emo ninja. Wearing a blindfold. And with her hands tied behind her back.

[rowdycamels.livejournal.com]

Beware the emo ninja.

[icepixie]

Ooooh, I'm scared. What'll she do, cry on me? Whine at me? (Actually, that would be rather painful and I'd rather she didn't, or slapping will commence.)

[rowdycamels.livejournal.com]

Hmm, I just bolded instead of italicizing. Flying broke my brain.