The triumph of stupidity

[icepixie]

Yay, Ellen's package got here Friday! With it came Torchwood 1x04, 'cause I'd heard about, er, something spoilery in it and decided that I actually had to watch this one, and she was kind enough to provide.

I...wow. This was truly awful. Awful in a way I was not really prepared for. Ow. Although the Cyberwoman/pterodactyl fight did give me five of the most unintentionally hilarious minutes I've seen this year, so that's something.

- First things first: Why the hell is there a stream, or possibly an open sewer line, flowing through the Torchwood office? This seems contraindicated when there's lots and lots of electronic equipment around.

- Second, why do five people, one of whom appears to be both secretary and janitor, need such a massive office?

- Wow, John Barrowman is bad at this serious stuff. He was amusing on DW, but his character was, like, entirely different there. Here, I'm kind of having trouble differentiating him from a robot. Although that stilted delivery is possibly because he's trying very, very hard not to crack up at the awful lines he gets.

- Welsh accents! They sound kind of like non-rhotic Dublin-or-maybe-general-SE-Irish accents, especially Gwen's and Owen's. Weird.

- *takes one look at Cyber-Lisa* So, we're not just utilizing our later timeslot, we're actively exploiting it. Good to know.

- I get the impression that Jack never really wanted to lead people. He seems...less than communicative. Like perhaps he'd like everyone to leave so he can save the world by himself, and then be alone with the Doctor's severed hand.

- Did Jack just...oh, he did. Jack brought Ianto back to life with a magic kiss. Ow, my head. *drinks more, thinks less*

- Speaking of kissage, the point of that random snog with Gwen and Owen was...what, eactly? Oh, wait, I forgot. Later timeslot. Exploitation. *takes another drink*

- Today seems to be a very bad day to be Ianto. Then again, it seems to be an even worse day to be a pizza delivery girl. *has a drink for them*

- *eyes Jack and Gwen* Gwen's boyfriend is so very not long for this world, or at least for being Gwen's boyfriend.

- In sum, the only person I didn't actively dislike here was Toshiko. She seemed kind of nifty. And I even forgive her her incompetence, seeing as it stemmed from Jack's megalomania.



Ellen, I'm trying to get up the stomach to watch the Declassified thing you included, but it has RTD on it, and he's talking, and I'm sure you know how I can't stand that.

Comments

[icepixie]

I was okay with Doctor As a Smug Bastard until I heard that Davies didn't think this was a bad then. Then I was rapidly NOT OKAY with it. And good GOD, Ten and Rose smugging around the universe was annoying.

The other Doctors definitely have their share of arrogance, but it was never this...aggressive. It's kind of endearing, actually. Most importantly, they're open to the possibility of being wrong, unlike Ten's I WILL SAVE YOU FROM YOURSELVES, BECAUSE I'M A TIME LORD MWAHAHAHAHA!

I think I may have a gouge-my-eyes-out appointment for that week.

So glad I have no further plans to watch this show.

[rowdycamels.livejournal.com]

I was okay with Doctor As a Smug Bastard until I heard that Davies didn't think this was a bad then. Then I was rapidly NOT OKAY with it.

Someday his production team will tie him up and gag him and stuff him in a closet, and then all will be right with the world.

And good GOD, Ten and Rose smugging around the universe was annoying.

Like smug little puppies! Cutest thing ever!

Most importantly, they're open to the possibility of being wrong, unlike Ten's I WILL SAVE YOU FROM YOURSELVES, BECAUSE I'M A TIME LORD MWAHAHAHAHA!

Maybe RTD will... fall and bang his head and, while he's disoriented, accidentally write comeuppance and consequences? To promote this, we should... attack RTD with sticks. Yes.

So glad I have no further plans to watch this show.

I keep thinking, "okay, rocky start, whatever, surely it'll improve... " but no. This is, like, congenital stupdity. I think I'll watch it 'til the DW crossover (I'm just that bored and OCD) to see how they try to combine the two, but after this season I may be forced to jump ship.

[icepixie]

Someday his production team will tie him up and gag him and stuff him in a closet, and then all will be right with the world.

Excellent idea! I vote we mail them rope and rags.

Maybe RTD will... fall and bang his head and, while he's disoriented, accidentally write comeuppance and consequences? To promote this, we should... attack RTD with sticks. Yes.

*readies sticks*

I keep thinking, "okay, rocky start, whatever, surely it'll improve... " but no. This is, like, congenital stupdity. I think I'll watch it 'til the DW crossover (I'm just that bored and OCD) to see how they try to combine the two, but after this season I may be forced to jump ship.

There's a DW crossover? And you're watching until then?

[rowdycamels.livejournal.com]

There's a DW crossover? And you're watching until then?

Yeah, I haven't been following spoilers much, but from what I've heard, the end of this season of TW ties into next season's DW, and Jack is scheduled to be in three or four eps of 3rd season DW. If they're gonna be that connected, I figure I might as well see how it goes. Of course, RTD is fully capable of convincing me otherwise, I'm sure....

[icepixie]

Huh. When Torchwood was barely a twinkle in RTD's eye, there was all sorts of press about how the two shows could never ever ever ever ever ever EVER cross over, because then it would be "forcing" DW viewers to watch TW, and vice versa, and it's against their charter (same reason why the show can't refer to any events in the novels or audio plays, although the other way around is allowed). Something about it not being legal to obligate people to buy/watch something else to see the resolution of a story, or something. I think there was also wailing about how, "OMG, CHILDREN will want to watch an ADULT show that airs AFTER 9 PM, and they will see SEX, ahhhh!!!"

Personally, I think they have far more to fear from children seeing the awful, awful storytelling in TW than the exploitation, but that's just me...

[rowdycamels.livejournal.com]

I know, what's up with the sudden reversal on the crossover policy?? But the rumors I was hearing were saying that it had gone past the handwavy stage and JB was all contracted and stuff. (I'd go look it up, but I'm trying to avoid DW spoilers, especially Martha ones, because I have a feeling that if I know what's gonna happen I'll be less inclined to actually watch the new season.) So, yeah, it seems like a definite thing, but I have no idea how it's gonna work. Unless Ten runs into Pre-Nine!Jack, and... somehow Jack forgot to mention in 1st season Who that he'd... already met Ten? Or something? I really don't see how they're gonna wangle their way out of the anti-crossover problems. But then, there's already the Hand and the Angst, so they're practically crossing over right from the start. I pretty much wouldn't put anything past them. If it's rules vs. ratings, the rules don't have a chance.

"Children, cover your eyes! Remember, tv uselessness is NOT REAL! It doesn't really exist, and it isn't lurking under your bed, and you SHOULD NOT try to recreate at home any uselessness you may see on tv! It's all done by highly-trained stunt-incompetents!"

[icepixie]

(I'd go look it up, but I'm trying to avoid DW spoilers, especially Martha ones, because I have a feeling that if I know what's gonna happen I'll be less inclined to actually watch the new season.)

Heh. Yes.

If it's rules vs. ratings, the rules don't have a chance.

Very true.

I'm clueless as to how this crossover will happen, too. And yet somehow, I find myself not caring overmuch... *rolls eyes at RTD*