Your Vampires Suck

[icepixie]

Arrrrrrrgh, the book I'm reading turned from an enthralling tale of scholars and alchemy books and potential genetic links between humans, vampires, and witches into The Adventures of Overprotective and Possessive Jerkass Vampires and the Damsels in Distress Who Love Them. I'm reasonably certain the author was taking lessons from Stephenie Meyer, because there's a lot of the vampire carrying the girl around like a sack of potatoes, and it's apparently coded into vampire society that the males are always the head of the family (which she's totally okay with because she luuuuurves him!). Oh, and vampires can go out in the sun, eat food (including garlic), and go into churches, so basically the only things that can harm them are actually getting beheaded or burnt to death. At least they don't sparkle.

But there's still the promise of something interesting in the book they're looking for as he carries her around France and she sighs and weeps, so I am PERSEVERING through these last 175 pages. Just with much grumbling. Grrrr.

Comments

[aris_tgd]

The thing I hate most in vampire fiction is when there seems to be no downside to being a vampire. I mean, if you get to be immortal, show up in reflections, go out in the sun, and all you have to do is drink blood, then... what, really, is the problem? Why not get turned into a vampire? *shrug* Don't get me wrong, I love the immortal suffering woobie as much as anyone, I just think that it's kinda stupid.

[nickless.livejournal.com]

Please tell me which book this is so I can avoid it at all costs... :)

[rowdycamels.livejournal.com]

the book I'm reading turned from an enthralling tale of scholars and alchemy books and potential genetic links between humans, vampires, and witches into The Adventures of Overprotective and Possessive Jerkass Vampires and the Damsels in Distress Who Love Them.

AUUUUGGGGGHHHHHHHHHH!

[kungfuwaynewho.livejournal.com]

Oh, and vampires can go out in the sun, eat food (including garlic), and go into churches, so basically the only things that can harm them are actually getting beheaded or burnt to death.

LOL, those are essentially the rules in my vampire screenplay. Whoops! (Although they can survive a beheading, too.)