Adventures in pie-making

[icepixie]

Okay, so, as a rule, I'm not a huge fan of pie. A few of the fillings are generally okay, but I'm opposed to piecrust. Basically, chocolate, pecan, apple, peach, and coconut cream pies are about the limit of my pie-eating, and that's, oh, twice a year or so.

However, Pushing Daisies awakened within me a yearning for pie (thanks ever so, Bryan Fuller), and it was egged along by a recipe + picture of a pear, cranberry, and caramel pie I saw on in a magazine last week. I've never had a pear pie (and I've been assured by reliable sources, i.e. my mother, that they cause severe gastrointestinal distress), so I decided to alter the recipe to cranberry-apple-caramel pie. And because fresh cranberries do not exist in my town, and who even knows what kind of apples are used to make a pie (hint: not me or anyone I know), I went the easy route of canned apple pie filling, canned whole cranberry sauce, and pre-made piecrust.

In the end, I think I could've saved a lot of trouble by just making an apple pie, because that's exactly what it tasted like. Or, more likely, I should hunt for real cranberries, because while these had no flavor whatsoever, I know from experience that cranberries do indeed have a taste, and it's a good one if you add enough sugar.* On the other hand, pie crust drenched in caramel sauce is kind of amazing, so that's a good thing to know.

In more pie-related discussion, I wandered into the pie article on Wikipedia tonight. It links to an article about a pastry with the euphonious name of "stargazy pie." As this picture shows, it's not nearly as sweet as one might think.

That article links to a lot of frightening things, such as the deep-fried pizza. One of the ways poeple eat them is apparently by breaking it in half, putting french fries in between the halves, and eating it as a sandwich. I begin to understand why Scotland has such a high heart disease rate.

* Yes, I know, I have a raging sweet tooth. Rar, it's raging at you.

*

Also on a sweet topic. belated happy birthdays to tarzanic, serendipityxxi, and ladysorka!

Comments

[calixa.livejournal.com]

A church with music playing. A cross with two angels. And not forgetting a Star Gazy Pie in lights.

*snickers*

[icepixie]

*snerk* That whole page is just kind of WTFy.

[nickless.livejournal.com]

I've never had a pear pie (and I've been assured by reliable sources, i.e. my mother, that they cause severe gastrointestinal distress)

My mom has made pear pie since The Beginning of Time and it's NEVER caused 'gastrointestinal distress', severe or otherwise. It's been a staple at family gatherings and at work for years and years, so it's not that we have cast-iron stomachs. Y'all must have one helluva wacky recipe or some downright nasty pears...

That article links to a lot of frightening things, such as the deep-fried pizza.

Sounds like something you could get at the Iowa State Fair. Then again, they'll deep-fry ANYTHING and put it on a stick at the state fair... *shudder*

[icepixie]

Y'all must have one helluva wacky recipe or some downright nasty pears...

I dunno. She just said she'd had one once, long ago, and that the effect was similar to eating an entire jar of prunes in one go.

Then again, they'll deep-fry ANYTHING and put it on a stick at the state fair... *shudder*

They seem to stick to funnel cake and hot dogs at ours, at least as far as the frying goes. Nothing too out of the ordinary, I don't think, but it's been years since I've been...

[nickless.livejournal.com]

I dunno. She just said she'd had one once, long ago, and that the effect was similar to eating an entire jar of prunes in one go.

OMG. Yeah, I can see how an experience like that would put you off of something...

They seem to stick to funnel cake and hot dogs at ours, at least as far as the frying goes. Nothing too out of the ordinary, I don't think, but it's been years since I've been...

You're lucky. Some of the ones I can recall offhand are cheesecake, pickles, snickers bars, corn dogs (yes, that's a bit of overkill)... Basically from what I can tell, if you can get it to stay on a stick long enough, they'll deep-fat-fry the sucker. This would be one of many reasons I avoid the state fair like the plague.

[icepixie]

OMG. Yeah, I can see how an experience like that would put you off of something...

Yep. And for some reason, starting with the evil cephalosporin meds I was on early last month, that area of my system has been especially touchy, so...not wanting to try that, yep.

...I think I could get behind fried pickles. That sounds pretty good.

[rowdycamels.livejournal.com]

Yes. I need a pie with whole dead fish sticking out of it and staring at me. Yes.

What I DO need, though, is apple pie. Every week lately, I want one. It'd never occurred to me to bake one, though... I was planning on taking the safer route and hitting up a bakery down the road on Wednesday...

*is raged at*

And I have to say, that icon of yours is a bit creepy.

[icepixie]

Yes. I need a pie with whole dead fish sticking out of it and staring at me. Yes.

Not just one. Most recipes appear to call for five.

It'd never occurred to me to bake one, though... I was planning on taking the safer route and hitting up a bakery down the road on Wednesday...

You can get 'em frozen in Kroger or whatever the Chicago equivalent is... Actually, you can get packs of two slices, which I'm sure would go a long way towards preventing the gastrointestinal distress that will come when you and Sarah inevitably finish the whole thing in like an hour. (Don't deny that that's what would happen. I've been reading your truffle-colored posts this week.)

And I have to say, that icon of yours is a bit creepy.

But it's Ned being dubious at a strawberry! How can that be creepy?

[rowdycamels.livejournal.com]

Not just one. Most recipes appear to call for five.

I like the implication of the picture, that there's so much fishy essence in that pie that it can't be contained inside the crust, but must BURST OUTWARD with eyeballs every which way.

You can get 'em frozen in Kroger or whatever the Chicago equivalent is...

Oh, but frozen pie would feel like a travesty, after looking at all those technicolor ones. I gotta try a fresh one, at least once.

(Don't deny that that's what would happen. I've been reading your truffle-colored posts this week.)

Oh, I'm not even pretending that it won't be gastrointestinally traumatizing. But I'm hoping it'll be very much worth it.

Oh, but we have a new microwave! So reheating won't be such a challenge anymore.

But it's Ned being dubious at a strawberry! How can that be creepy?

Nope, I believe that's Ned being creepy at a strawberry.

[icepixie]

I like the implication of the picture, that there's so much fishy essence in that pie that it can't be contained inside the crust, but must BURST OUTWARD with eyeballs every which way.

Indeed. (Or possibly the implication that the fishes want to see the stars one last time...before they're eaten...um...)

Oh, but frozen pie would feel like a travesty, after looking at all those technicolor ones. I gotta try a fresh one, at least once.

There is that. Although I'm sure the frozen ones are probably more technicolor than a fresh one, what with all the preservatives and food coloring and whatnot.

Oh, I'm not even pretending that it won't be gastrointestinally traumatizing. But I'm hoping it'll be very much worth it.

Ooof. That reminds me, there's still a couple slices left of the one I made...

Oh, but we have a new microwave! So reheating won't be such a challenge anymore.

Praise be!

Nope, I believe that's Ned being creepy at a strawberry.

But it's Ned! Ned couldn't be creepy if he tried!

[rowdycamels.livejournal.com]

(Or possibly the implication that the fishes want to see the stars one last time...before they're eaten...um...)

Because fish normally stargaze so much.

Although I'm sure the frozen ones are probably more technicolor than a fresh one, what with all the preservatives and food coloring and whatnot.

Ew. True.

But it's Ned! Ned couldn't be creepy if he tried!

Let me remind you, this is the guy who touches dead people.

[icepixie]

Because fish normally stargaze so much.

You don't know what goes on in their fishy little lives under the water.

Let me remind you, this is the guy who touches dead people.

But adorably!

[babylil.livejournal.com]

Yeah, we they deep-fry a lot of stuff in Scotland. When I was in St Andrews there was this fish and chip shop called the KFB that would deep-fry anything you brought in. We also originated the delightfully frightening deep-fried Mars Bars.

I confess to having tasted deep-fried pizza, but the Mars Bars scare me too much. Also, I saw somebody cooking Stargazy Pie on TV at the weekend. It had tiny little crayfish sticking out the top instead of fish and was utterly disturbing.

[icepixie]

hat would deep-fry anything you brought in

Eeek.

I think I'd be more open to a deep-fried Mars Bar than a deep-fried pizza. Although neither sound appealing.

Also, I saw somebody cooking Stargazy Pie on TV at the weekend. It had tiny little crayfish sticking out the top instead of fish and was utterly disturbing.

I found a picture of that on Google. It creeped me out more than I can say.

[thiswaltz.livejournal.com]

watching Pushing Daisies does seem to induce pie cravings, doesn't it. but then again I'm a pie fan to begin with, and so is my dad. We almost always celebrate birthdays with homemade pies rather than cake. XD

I'm not sure if you were asking or not, but the traditional apple for pie filling is granny smith because they're crisp enough to hold up well to baking. but it's a good idea to microwave them for a little after you've got the filling all mixed (before putting them in the crust) because the crust will often be done before the apples are.

[icepixie]

watching Pushing Daisies does seem to induce pie cravings, doesn't it

They do look tasty in all their color-corrected glory.

the traditional apple for pie filling is granny smith

Good to know; thanks!